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Me, Myself and Ibuprofen!
Sick theatregoer almost ruins Breakfast at Tiffany’s…
Nov 6th
Anna Friel almost forgot her lines during a recent performance in West End show Breakfast At Tiffany’s – when a sick theatre-goer showered the audience with vomit.
The Pushing Daisies star is currently appearing as Holly Golightly in the hit stage production of Audrey Hepburn’s classic movie.
But one performance was almost ruined after a reveller threw up over the balcony – splattering audience members below.
Friel admits she was angry at first – until she realised what had happened.
She tells radio station Smooth, “I thought it was late-comers who shouldn’t have been allowed in – but it turned out someone had vomited from the balcony over six people and they were being escorted out to be cleaned up.
“I carried on singing but almost lost my way as there was such a noise coming from the seats. I almost lost it but I’m proud I kept my concentration.”
Australians are funny!…
Nov 6th
These were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a great sense of humour (not to mention a low tolerance threshold for cretins!)
Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia ? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? ( UK ).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? ( USA )
A 
epends how much you’ve been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney – can I follow the railroad tracks? ( Sweden)
A: Sure, it’s only three thousand miles, take lots of water.
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? ( UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia ? ( USA )
A: A-Fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not … Oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.
Q:Which direction is North in Australia ? ( USA )
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we’ll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia ? ( UK )
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do…
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys’ Choir schedule? ( USA )
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is Oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia ? ( UK )
A: You are a British politician, right?
Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? ( Germany )
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.
Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can Dispense rattlesnake serum. ( USA )
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It’s a kind of bear and lives in trees. ( USA )
A: It’s called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia ? ( USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia ? ( France )
A: Only at Christmas.
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )
A: Yes, but you’ll have to learn it first
How cool is this new camera?…..
Oct 31st
This has got to be one of the coolest gadgets Ive seen in a while, if you are wondering what to buy me for christmas then…..
If Carlsberg made fancy dress costumes…..
Oct 22nd
If Carlsberg mady fancy dress they would probably be these two amazing transformers costumes:
This story will make you love Simon Cowell’s mum….
Oct 21st
You can be one of the most powerful men in the country, swanning around with hot women, driving fast cars, owning more identical black t-shirts than you can fit in your 73 houses, but ultimately you’re still just someone’s little boy.
Simon Cowell’s 82 year old mum Julie has given a very funny interview to Yours magazine (ask your nan) in which she reveals that, to her, he’s just the same old Simon he’s always been.
“When I asked him what he wanted [for his 50th birthday] he said, ‘nothing’,” she reveals. “He loves books, so I got him book tokens and his favourite aftershave. Not very showbiz!” We wonder what Simon’s spent the voucher on – Leona’s new one? Some Mills & Boon to indulge his secret romantic side? Or maybe a self-help book – Who Moved My Cheese?
Julie also says that Simon’s whole brutal honesty thing isn’t just an act for TV – he’s always been blunt. “When Simon was five, I bought a new hat and asked him if I looked nice in it,” she recalls. “He replied, ‘You look like a poodle’!” Interesting, very interesting… now, we don’t want to get all psycobabble on on you, but doesn’t Simon now tend to go for women who look a little bit like poodles? Just saying…
Still, before Simon can go “oh MUM, shut UP, you’re embarrassing me!”, Julie does have a few very sweet things to say too. “It would only upset me if he really was a nasty person,” she says. “Simon isn’t nasty – he’s just honest. I’ve always insisted on politeness – so when people say how pleasant Simon is, I mutter ‘thank goodness’. It means more to me than his television career. He hasn’t let success go to his head. I was watching for his feet to come off the ground, and if they did, I would have made sure they came down quickly again.”
We bet she would too. Julie Cowell rules!
Fan to create Simpsons character….
Oct 16th
Hit animated comedy The Simpsons is celebrating its 20th anniversary with a competition to create a new character.
The new Springfield resident will appear in an early 2010 episode, also featuring Coldplay’s Chris Martin.
The contest, open for just one week, promises the winner a trip to Los Angeles to work with the show’s producers and the animation director.
Submissions should be “pithy and funny” with a “typical Simpsons overbite”, said executive producer Al Jean.
“It’s gotta be a human being. We’ve narrowed it down that much,” he added.
Jean, who will judge the online contest with Simpsons creator Matt Groening, said the competition was a form of thank-you to the show’s enduring fanbase.
Prime-time history
The Simpsons is set to become the longest-running prime-time series in US TV history after makers Fox ordered another two seasons.
“We’re now in uncharted waters: We’ve gone longer than any scripted show in prime-time history,” said Jean.
“It’s a cliche, but it wouldn’t be so except for these people who’ve loved the show all these years.”
The episode featuring the new character will see Homer disappoint wife Marge by arriving late at a wedding after stopping to buy a lottery ticket.
He encounters the new face while rushing to the ceremony, Jean said, adding that it’s possible the character may return in another episode.
The Simpsons was first shown in December 1989, and made its UK debut on Sky in September 1990.
The new commission of 44 episodes over two seasons will bring the total number of shows to 493.
The cartoon, featuring Bart, Homer, Marge and other residents of Springfield, has received 24 Emmy awards in its 20 years on screen.
Petition to get Nandos to do delivery…
Oct 15th
Nando’s is by far my favourite restaurant, and it really bugs me that they don’t do delivery.
You can join my campaign to get Nando’s to do delivery at: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=170150977736
